I am yearning for a dream today. Many times lately I have had really happy dreams. I feel that it is a good thing but at times it is also a bad thing. Happiness these days are hard to find in my life with work and school. I don't have time for a social life and every conversation I have revolves around school or money. In my dreams I am surrounded by loving people who obviously care about me. I find my self waking up in a happy state of mind but it quickly wares off as reality sets in.

Maybe my subconscious is telling me something. I really wouldn't doubt it. I know that I need to make room for more balance in my life but that is hard when you are trying to survive and accomplish one of you biggest dreams. I miss laughter and happiness very much.

My dream last night was completely about love. I have had a few relationships and I have had my first love and nothing will ever make me forget, but I believe that I have yet to find true love. Last night was a depiction of the kind of love that I need. It is like that magnet experiment that you do in school where you have the two magnets and you slowly bring them closer together, at some point they begin to push away from each other because they feel the attraction, but as they get closer they can't stay away from eachother and they are permanently attached. Once they are attached they it is like they are dancing the tango they are apart for a short period of time and they feel the need for the other person that is burning inside and they rush back to them and hold on to them for dear life. That is the kind of love I am yearning for.

I want to find the other magnet and dance the tango with them forever.

"Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."

- Nathaniel Hawthorne

Don't let happiness get too far away from you grasp, take a few minutes everyday and reflect on what you are feeling and what you have bestowed upon you.

Right now at this very moment I sit here very unmotivated. Five hours ago I said goodbye to my Mother and my Brother who have been here all weekend. They are driving back to North Carolina now. I had a wonderful weekend with many new memories to add into my internal hard drive for the rest of my life. I felt like a sponge the entire time they were here absorbing every single moment. I have felt so terrible for leaving them to go to school and do better for myself because I have missed so much in their lives.

It is amazing that I have been more than five hundred miles away from them for three years now and it never gets any easier to say good bye. I miss them tremendously and I feel completely drained now that they are gone. There is a list a mile long of things that I should be doing, but the answer is that I just don't want to :)

Fill your hard drive with memories,

Brit

When life throws you a curve ball you have to focus on it as it approaches and time your swing just right to hit it out of the park. If you miss it and it throws you off balance, you need to take it in stride and shake it off, because there will be many of them thrown your way, it is how you handle them that matters.

There comes a point in life where all of your searching is done. When you finally figure out that if you are searching for it then you will never find it. You have to let things come your way at times, you can always have complete control. This goes for relationships, jobs, closure, etc. Some times you just have to let it be what it is and be content with that.

I think when most student come up on an exam, anxiety begins to build, and some form of panic sets in. Well, when you have an exam coming up and your professor hands you a 42 page power point packet, 6 slides per page of course, of medications that you have never heard of and she tells you that you need to know these in a week. This is when you start sweating bullets, you realize you have to work, you have your usual astronomical work load from your other classes and you remember that you might want to give your significant other some attention....Well, now the exam is over. we will all have to wait and what our demise may turn out to be, and yet I still can't shake the panic headache that I woke up with this morning. Now I am off to work on case study a little bit before I dream of a tropical island far away.